Overwhelm and the monkey brain

First Published 9 June 2022

I still can’t hear the word ‘overwhelm’ without thinking of the line in 10 things I hate about you: “I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed – but can you ever just be whelmed?”

It might be one of the few lines I remember from a film!  And in case you were wondering – yes you can be – apparently it either means “placing or throwing something over something else with the intent to engulf it or crush it.” or more recently “to overcome in thought or feeling”.

But I digress – let’s get back to Overwhelm.  With everything that’s happened over the last few years, there has been a greater focus on being overwhelmed.  
Whether it’s due to a constant stream of news, the stress caused by uncertainty, the fear factor of masks etc., the lack of human contact or too much to do, it can be debilitating and, in some cases, lead to burnout.

When we get into a state of overwhelm, the monkey brain can, and often does take over.  Our fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses kick into gear. Overwhelm usually shows up with the freeze response.  

I know for me when it went as far as burnout, looking back I spent a few days feeling like a zombie having effectively shut down.  I couldn’t think, I went through the motions but don’t think I really processed much of anything.  I just know it wasn’t a nice place to be – I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone and so I really would like to work with people before they tip over into burnout.

There are so many signs that could signal overwhelm.  

• headaches;
• trouble sleeping/sleeping too much;
• finding it hard to breathe;
• withdrawing from your normal support structure;
• trouble focusing on simple stuff.

These can build until something seemingly minor can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

When you are in the middle of it, the key is to recognise that something is building and to take a pause.  That pause can take in many forms – a few of my favourites are:

• the techniques in my ‘handy guide’;
• find a guided meditation on YouTube or Spotify (other services are available);
• grab a coffee with a friend;
• curl up with a book you don’t have to think about too much
• find something funny to watch.

Once you can see clearly again, it is good to then work out what caused the overwhelming emotions.

Figure out ways to eliminate the problem or find coping mechanisms that are simple to do if it’s a situation that you can’t avoid.

If it is more than one thing that creates your overwhelm or stress – split them out into their individual parts.  Things feel easier to deal with and navigate if they are smaller.  And just work through them one at a time.  

If you spot the signs of overwhelm or stress and would like a wee bit of help or support then do reach out – I am here and waiting for the zoffee invite to pop in to my mailbox 😉 and almost as important (as it can be easier to spot in others) if anyone you spend time with is showing signs of overwhelm, please do them a favour and send them this mail.  It might be that just knowing they are not alone is enough to lift the tight hold of the monkey brain – and if not, I would be honoured to have a chat with them.

If you would like to hear what it sounds like when a group of therapists started talking overwhelm and then allowed the monkey brain to creep in – head over to the latest episode of Therapists in Conversation!