First Published 31 August 2023

Have you ever had that feeling that you were missing something?

Like there was something in front of you and you just weren’t seeing it?  Or perhaps you were choosing not to see it?

If you have, you will know how frustrating it can be.

But what if that thing you are just not seeing is yourself? Or the person you could be?  Or the life you could be living?

I don’t know about you, but there are certain things I know that would be beneficial for me to do – yet I keep putting them off.

A silly example (that’s had some not so silly impacts) is that I decided I was going to be more conscious of my eating choices and start cooking more from scratch.

Unfortunately, this would require me to sort out my kitchen – starting with a major declutter (who really needs the collection of clean takeaway containers and empty sauce jars… especially when the collection has grown so much that they are taking over the worktops cos the cupboard is full! 🤦🏻‍♀️).

As you may have guessed where I am going with this… I still haven’t cleaned out the kitchen and so have self-sabotaged/avoided/procrastinated making good on my goal.

Where in your life are you perhaps holding yourself back and making sure that you fail / don’t achieve?

What’s going on behind the scenes, that makes those of us who are prone to this continue avoiding, and sabotaging, and procrastinating?

Well, like with most things, the first step is to be aware of our behaviours.  Once we are aware, then we can change them.

So, I am going to ponder the following questions (I might even dust off the journal!) and I invite you to do the same:

• What am I afraid of?
• What am I trying to protect myself from?
• What am I really avoiding?
• What would happen if I didn’t self-sabotage or avoid?
• What do I have to gain from continuing to avoid or self-sabotage?
• What do I have to lose if I do achieve the goals?

Answering these questions will help to get a better understanding of yourself and your motives.

So, start taking small steps to face those fears.  Don’t feel that you have to do it all at once (I am going to take it one cupboard and worktop at a time).  This won’t be an overnight success, but it will be progress if you start to make small consistent moves towards the goal.

Remember, you are not alone.  If other people can achieve their goals, there is no real reason why you can’t achieve yours – when you want them enough.

If you need support or, a different view on your world, do reach out – my zoffee link is still open!

And if you need some more tips…

• talk it through with someone you trust (it doesn’t have to be me 😉)
• update your goals to make them realistic and tangible – even if they might feel tiny compared to the ones you set before (rather than “I want to lose 10kg by Christmas”, set yourself a weekly goal of half a kg and then add in some small things you can do in your day to help you get there)
• don’t beat yourself up if you miss a task or goal.  Take a deep breath, refocus and update the plan.
• reward yourself (you will hopefully know by now this is one of my favourites… and, if it’s weight loss related, perhaps don’t make the reward cake related)
• don’t be afraid to ask for help – just make sure the person helping you is someone you trust and supports your goals.

Together we can achieve anything – so make sure you have the right support around you.  I believe in you!