First published 7 December 2023

Self Talk

It’s been a wee while since I’ve talked about Self Talk.

Has your inner dialogue changed recently?  Is that stream of consciousness nice to you? Or, do they need an attitude adjustment?

This month a slightly smaller group than normal got together to talk about this topic for the latest episode of Therapists in Conversation.

Leslie was curious how Aphantasia affects my self talk and we covered some other ‘self’s’ including worth, like and love to mention a few (and watch this space for January as we have picked another ‘self’ for the topic next time!).

This is one of my favourite episodes that we have recorded recently and I would love to hear your opinions.

Our self-talk can shape our perceptions, emotions, and behaviours. Some self-talk can be positive and motivating, however, it can also be negative and hinder our progress.

Apologies to those of you who have probably heard me recommend the book “The Untethered Soul,” by Michael A. Singer many times already, I’m going to do it again… in his book, he emphasises the power of self-awareness and the ability for us to consciously choose our thoughts.  And as I love top tips – I’ve pulled some together below.

1. Identify Negative Self-Talk

The first step in taking charge of our self-talk is to become aware of its content. Pay attention to the words you use and the emotions they evoke. If you find yourself using phrases like “I can’t,” “I’m not good enough,” or “This will never work,” there is a really good chance that you are engaging in negative self-talk.

2. Challenge Negative Archetypes

The book identifies a number of negative archetypes that can, and do influence our self-talk.  Archetypes like the Inner Critic, the Victim, and the Perfectionist. So first of all, pay attention to them so that you can recognise these archetypes when they arise and then you can begin to challenge their limiting beliefs. Once you have identified and labelled them, you can then start to replace negative statements with more empowering ones.

3. Cultivate a Positive Self-Image

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments instead of dwelling on your shortcomings over and over again. Remind yourself of your inherent value and capabilities. Visualise yourself achieving your goals and embodying the positive qualities you aspire to.  (if like me you struggle with visualising, get in touch for some further tips!)

4. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques like meditation and journaling can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts. This allows you to catch negative self-talk much more quickly and maybe even in the moment and choose more constructive alternatives. (likewise with meditation – happy to help with tips if you are new to meditating and are unsure on how to start – I am investigating recording some guided meditations so if you have an interest in receiving these, please do let me know)

5. Seek Support

If negative self-talk is deeply ingrained, causing significant challenges and you feel like you are facing an uphill battle, please do consider booking in for a session to work on this. I can help you identify the underlying causes of your self-criticism and develop effective coping mechanisms.
 

“The Untethered Soul” emphasises the importance of detaching from our thoughts and observing them without judgment. Remember, they are just thoughts.  This gives us the space to gain perspective and choose whether to engage with them or let them pass. The book also encourages us to connect with our inner essence, the true being that lies beyond our thoughts and emotions. By becoming aware of our self-talk and consciously choosing more positive and empowering thoughts, we can transform our inner dialogue into a powerful tool for personal growth and fulfilment. By harnessing the power of our thoughts, we can liberate ourselves from the limitations of negative self-talk and embrace the boundless potential that lies within.

If you have read the book, I would love to know what you thought and any takeaways you found.  If you haven’t read it… why not? 😉

The link for Episode 43 is below – do let me know what your thoughts are.  Is there anything we missed or that you don’t agree with.