First published 17 October 2024

What Makes up a Personality?

This month in Therapists in Conversation we talk about Personality – is it by design or by default.   Come with us as we meander around whether or not we can choose our personality or whether we are stuck with it!

Have you done a personality test recently?  Have the results changed?  Did you agree with it? 

A key thing to remember with personality tests is that they can be a good indicator or give some food for thought but they are not fixed and they are just another label – if the results are helpful then use them, if not, please don’t allow them to force you in to a box that is not helpful!

Tune in to the conversation and let me know what you think.

Have you ever taken a moment to think about who you really are?

It’s like trying to figure out a 1000+ piece jigsaw puzzle.  Sometimes, we act in different ways around our friends than we do with our family. And sometimes, we feel like we’re changing all the time and perhaps contorting ourselves to fit.

The Puzzle of Identity

Keeping with the jigsaw analogy, some pieces are about our family, friends, and where we live.

Other pieces are about our hobbies, interests, and what we’re good at.

And some pieces are about how we feel inside.

Finding the Missing Pieces

So how do we find where the puzzle pieces are or, when we find them, how do work out where they fit?  (without shoehorning them in as Leslie talks about in the video) A good place to start could be to:

• Think about ourselves: What are our values? What do we believe in? 
• Talk to others: Ask our friends and family what they think about us.  Please, pick people that you trust and who will be kind in their feedback!
• Try new things: Explore different hobbies and interests to discover new aspects of ourselves.  Learning new things helps us to develop and grow, and the process can be a great source of enjoyment so have fun with this one!

It’s really important to be true to ourselves, even when it’s hard.  That means being honest about who we are and what we want.  It also means not letting others tell us who we should be.  Even if you think the real you might not be what other people expect.  When you are authentically you, and you are aligned with who you really are, you will feel much more comfortable in your own skin,  That comfort can lead to happy and if you are happy, then those who love you will be happy for you too!

Taking that time to find out who we are is a journey (and an exciting one at that if we embrace it), not a destination.

It’s okay to change and grow over time, and actually, that’s a good thing.  The most important thing is to be true to ourselves and live our lives authentically. I’d love to hear your thoughts on identity.  What have you learned about yourself recently?  

If you would like some support in finding the real you, please do reach out to me.