First published 19 December 2024

Are You Making Choices or Letting Life Happen?

A friend came across a quote recently that grabbed my attention: “If you’re not changing something, you’re choosing it.”

It’s attributed to various people, and it really made me think.  So I felt it only right to share this ‘chewing gum for the brain’ with you! 

It forces us to confront the fact that inaction is, in itself, a decision. It’s not about being passive; it’s about owning the consequences of what we do, or don’t do. This can be quite challenging, especially when we face difficult choices. We can get bogged down in overthinking, worrying about making the “wrong” choice.  So much so that we may face decision/analysis paralysis and then end up not making a decision at all… which in itself IS a decision!

But what if there was no such thing as a bad decision?

The Myth of the Wrong Decision

The idea of a “wrong” decision is often based on the idea of a perfect, predetermined outcome.

You know, that thought that there is only one right way to do something and if we don’t pick it then disaster will strike and it is the proverbial ‘end of the world’.

We imagine that if we ‘choose right’ then everything will go exactly to plan, and anything that deviates from that is seen as a failure.

But life rarely works that way.  There are always unexpected twists and turns. 

What we perceive as a “wrong” decision in the moment might actually lead us somewhere amazing, opening up new opportunities and experiences.

Choosing vs. Not Choosing

So back to that quote – “If you’re not changing, you’re choosing” – it can help us to see things differently.

It shifts the focus from fearing the wrong choice to taking responsibility for making any choice.  Even choosing to stay in a situation we’re unhappy with is a choice, with its own set of consequences.

Embracing the Journey

Instead of stressing about making the “right” decision, we can focus on making a decision and then embracing what comes next.

Every choice, whether it leads to what we think of as success or failure, teaches us something valuable and helps us grow.  And remember, a failure is just an opportunity to learn, as long as we pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off and keep moving.

But, How do we Put it into Practice?

• Identify where you’re feeling stuck: Where are you putting off making a decision, and what’s happening because of it?  Is there a part of your life where you are burying your head in the sand, and/or becoming the master of procrastination?  Notice when and where you are doing this, perhaps look for a pattern or a habit where this is the case.
• See things differently: Instead of fearing the “wrong” choice, think about the potential for learning and growth, no matter what happens.  One of my favourite ways to do this is ‘think worst case scenario’ and then ask ‘really?’ – this usually then brings to mind a less catastrophic potential option to which I again ask ‘really?’ utilising this loop I usually come to a realistic potential outcome that is normally nowhere near as bad as that end of the world scenario!
• Take action: Even small steps can get things moving and help you progress. So break it down, and then break it down again – manageable bite sized chunks are a helpful way to go.

There are no truly “wrong” decisions, just different paths. (multi-verse anyone?)

By realising that not doing anything is still a choice, we can take control of our lives and embrace the journey, wherever it takes us.  And if you would like company for that journey, I am on hand and ready to be your side kick! (one of these days I am going to get a cartoonist to create a “me as a sidekick” avatar 🤣)

Where in your life do you notice this?  Do you struggle with making decisions? Please do share your experiences.