First published 24 January 2025

Something Different

As I sit down to type this I have absolutely no plan!  Yes, I am a day late and part of me was thinking about switching to fortnightly (every other week) to write these, but then I logged in and just thought, let’s see where this goes (it could be really good or a total disaster! only one way to find out!).

Yesterday ended with most of Scotland receiving a Red alert on their phones to warn that the weather was going to be extreme today – and they were right!  

My news feed was full of people reporting that they got a fright or the others saying ‘I can’t believe you didn’t disable that’.  And then there are others sharing numbers for the emergency services and warning that if you drive during the warning period that your car insurance may be invalidated!

I have mixed feelings on the benefits or otherwise of this type of alert system, but I have noticed that at the very least, on the positive side it has fostered conversation and offers of support.

Battling the Storm

Meanwhile, I am fighting a losing battle with retrieving the wheelie bins and keeping the cover on the garden furniture – which also comes with getting soaked and cold!  This could be my cue to take a step back and deal with the fallout when the storm has blown itself out.

Ooooh – now I am on to something… when we are faced with a dilemma – how do we know when to keep charging forward and when to take shelter and wait for the storm to pass?  Moving on from literal storms – how does this apply to challenges in our work, relationships, personal goals and our well-being whether that be mental or physical?

A lot of us were brought up with the narrative that constantly striving and battling forward along with relentless effort is the only way to be respected or to be any good at something.  If you aren’t working hard and sacrificing then you aren’t worthy.

“You must persevere and you must never ‘give up’!”

Yes, perseverance is important, however, there is a crucial difference between healthy persistence and pushing ourselves to the point of exhaustion or burnout.

If we spend all of our time battling strong headwinds, whether they are literal or metaphorical, we will massively deplete our mental and emotional resources.

This puts us in constant “fight” mode and that is a recipe for chronic stress.

How do you know you are in this space? (although I am guessing if you are in that space you are unlikely to be reading this so it could be something for you to spot in others):

• Always feeling on edge is a good sign of anxiety and irritability
• Finding it hard to get to sleep or stay asleep during the night
• Headaches, muscle tension and digestive issues could be a good indicator too
• You might be finding it hard to concentrate or get things done
• And you might feel absolutely exhausted.

There is Wisdom in Battening Down the Hatches

Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is to head for that metaphorical storm shelter.  But how do we do this? 

Start by:

• Acknowledge the storm: recognise that we are facing a difficult period and that it’s okay to not be at our best.
• Prioritise self-care: focus on the essentials like rest, nutrition, and emotional support for you.
• Set Boundaries: say no to stuff you don’t need to do or that is draining you
• Seek Support: reach out to friends, family or professionals for help.
• Accept what we can’t control: channel Elsa and let it go!  It doesn’t have to be fixed immediately and we can work on accepting that the situation is most likely temporary.

Know When to ‘Pivot’

We need to develop an awareness so that we can recognise when to shift from “fight” to “rest”.  This isn’t about giving up on our goals.  It’s about strategically managing our energy and resources.  Ask yourself (with no judgement):

• Is this battle serving me? Is my effort garnering positive results, or am I simply draining myself?
• Is this something I can control?  Do I have the ability to control or change it?  If not, is it worth the mental energy to keep fighting it?
• What do I need right now?  Do I need rest, support or a change of perspective?

By learning when to fight and when to retreat, we can protect our mental well-being and emerge from the storm shelter stronger and more resilient, 

Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is to simply weather the storm.  If once you take that pause to ask yourself the above questions you decide that you need support, you know how to reach me (all the links are below!)

While writing this, the garden furniture has lost its cover again and I think I just heard the 4th bin topple over… I’m thinking I may just have to don the gloves tomorrow and pick up all the litter then!  And hope the cover is still at least within the confines of my garden fences…

Stay safe and hopefully cosy and I’ll catch you on the next one.  (and if you have an opinion on whether I keep to weekly or switch to fortnightly, please do let me know!)

Update: I left the bins and furniture cover after I wrote this and then had a fun clear up of the contents of the bins the following morning when I had to also retrieve all 5 of them – and the cover was still in the garden and in one piece so I’m calling that a partial success!