First published 28 March 2025

Oh, the joys of working with others!

Whether it’s a team project, a joint venture, a discussion, or even just trying to arrange a group gathering of friends or family, collaboration can be a fantastic source of innovation, progress and joy.

But let’s face it, it can also be a recipe for frustration!

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?  That moment when you feel your ideas aren’t being heard, when communication breaks down, or simply when different working styles or personalities clash.  It is so, so easy for feelings of irritation to bubble up, making it difficult to stay calm and rational.  And that’s not even taking into account when one person in the conversation comes to the table already feeling a bit off or in a bad mood!

What can you do?  How do you navigate the angst and hope to calmly make your voice heard?

• Use “I” statements – this is my go-to answer, and I am still practicing to make it the default option!  Frame your points using “I” statements to express your perspective.  It removes the accusations and focuses on your perspective.  Instead of “You’re not listening”, try “I feel like my point isn’t being considered”
• Listen actively – before you speak, really listen to what the other people are saying. That means not rehearsing in your head what your point is while they are talking!  If you can work to understand their perspective, even if you disagree, you can work toward a more productive and less frustrating conversation.
• Ask clarifying questions – again, steering away from accusatory language, ask questions to understand motivations – this is where reducing the “why” questions can be helpful.
• Focus on the issue and not the person – personal attacks and blaming can escalate quickly so if you notice the conversation going in that direction, do what you can to pull it back to the task/issue at hand.

Press pause – you may just need to pause the conversation – suggest a tea break or if possible to return to the conversation the next day – especially if things are getting heated!

Stress Relief

If none of the above is working, and you can’t take a pause, I have some handy tips and techniques to help you refocus and regain your composure without anyone else noticing. 

They may take a little practice to enable you to just pull them out when you really need them, so practice when you can:

• Deep Breathing – When tension rises, your breath is your secret weapon!  Try box breathing – in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4 and hold for 4.  Or if you want to try a little more advanced: in for 4, hold for 7, and out for 8.  Undertaking this ‘stealth calm-down’ mission can secretly reset your nervous system.
• Ground your Feet – consciously press your feet into the ground.  This simple, invisible act can help you feel more present and stable.
• Micro-Muscle Relaxation – if you notice your shoulders creeping up to meet your ears, subtly roll them back and then let them drop (this change in posture can diffuse tense situations as it will also make you look calmer and less defensive!).  Unclench your jaw.  Release the tension in your hands.  Do a quick body scan and notice anywhere else you may be holding tension – gently and consciously release and unwind the tension.
• Focus shift – briefly shift your focus to something neutral.  Even 2-3 seconds can ground you and release some frustration.
  • What colour is your pen?  How does it feel in your hand – is it warm or cold, heavy or light? 
  • What can you see out a window or look at a wall – what do you notice?  Even if it’s noticing the texture of the wallpaper, what can you see? 
  • What’s the furthest away sound you can hear? 
  • What’s the texture of your clothing?  Can you gently stroke the cuff of your sleeve or the seam of your trousers – what do you notice?
• The Pause Technique – Before you respond to anything, take a deliberate breath.  This creates a space between the emotion and the reaction, encouraging your rational mind to take the driver’s seat.

When the Stress Runs Deeper

Sometimes, the frustration isn’t just about that moment.  It could be accumulated emotional patterns, unresolved tensions, and energy blocks that keep you feeling stuck.  If you feel that this is a pattern that keeps repeating, if you feel that getting your point across is ALWAYS an uphill battle then you might need a little more than the tips and techniques above.

That’s where I come in –  I don’t just help you manage stress – I help you unravel the roots.  And when those roots are unravelling, we can find energetic blocks releasing, an improvement in clarity and confidence and the internal noise gets turned way down too. 

So what are you waiting for?  Are you ready to transform how you navigate workplace dynamics or how you communicate in general?

Let’s chat!  Schedule a discovery call or a session. 

The sooner we get started, the sooner you can calm the frustration and feel truly heard!