(And Why It Changes Everything)

First published 7 October 2025

I’ve been sitting pondering something since we recorded Episode 65 of ‘Therapists in Conversation’ – ‘The Illusion of Control’ (available to watch now) – and I wanted to share it with you.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: we have far less control than we think we do.

Just let that sink in for a moment…

We can’t control other people, outcomes, or even what tomorrow brings.

So why do we exhaust ourselves trying?

What is it about human nature that spends so much effort attempting to manage situations, keep everyone happy, make ourselves smaller?  If we were to achieve it, would we be able to maintain some illusion of security?

(I’m thinking it’s unlikely!)

But here’s where it gets interesting – and liberating.

Whilst we can’t control what happens to us, we absolutely can control how we respond to what’s happening.

This isn’t just positive thinking nonsense (I promise!); it’s about reclaiming genuine power that we tend to give away without a thought.

How many times have you caught yourself saying “they made me feel this way” or “I had no choice”?

These thoughts keep us stuck in a victim mindset, where we’re perpetually at the mercy of external circumstances and other people’s whims.

The reality?

No one can make you feel anything.

Your response – your emotional reaction, your next action, your perspective – that’s entirely yours.

When you truly grasp this, it’s transformative. You get to stop being a passenger in your own life and remember you can fly the plane, or change the channel (well I had to make the pic below make sense 😉).

In my practice, I see this play out energetically.

When we’re stuck in patterns of trying to control everything around us, our energy becomes depleted – particularly in the solar plexus chakra, our seat of personal power.

The stomach meridian, which governs our ability to digest not just food but life experiences, becomes blocked.

We’re so busy managing everyone else that we forget we have our own resources, and our own strength.

The beauty of Health Kinesiology is that it helps you find these unconscious patterns – the ones running on autopilot – and shift them (with or without your conscious awareness).

It creates space for you to reclaim your response-ability.

Not responsibility for others, but the ability to respond authentically to your own life.

A point to note though is that this isn’t about becoming selfish or leaving others behind.

It’s about remembering that you’re allowed to make decisions for yourself, to put yourself first, without diminishing anyone else’s journey.

Ready to stop giving your power away? Let’s explore how you can reclaim control of the one thing that truly matters – your response to life.

Book a discovery call and we’ll look at where you might be making yourself smaller and how to step back into your power – use the discovery call button to do just that.

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Want to hear the full conversation?  I’d love to hear your thoughts on the discussion.