Why Good Intentions Alone Aren’t Enough

First published 1 December 2025

(I did write this on Friday, but then couldn’t get my laptop to connect to  send it – so it’s a little later in hitting your mailbox than planned!  Now, on with the show 😉)

Hands up if you’ve ever done this: attended an amazing course, read a transformative book, or sat through a motivational seminar absolutely buzzing with ideas and good intentions… only to find yourself back in your old patterns within days?

Yeah, me too.  We’ve likely all been there.

You leave feeling inspired, ready to change everything.

You might even make it home still riding that wave of motivation.

But by the next morning?  Or the day after?

Those brilliant insights and new practices have somehow dissipated, taking you back to your ‘usual’ routine.
 

Why Does This Keep Happening?

Here’s the thing: we‘ve changed, but our environment hasn’t.

We return to the same desk, the same schedule, the same demands on our time.  Our brains, ever efficient, simply slot us seamlessly back into our existing neural pathways and habits.

Make no mistake, it’s not a failure of willpower – it’s just how we’re wired.

This relates beautifully to the Water element – the element of wisdom and integration.
Water represents our ability to take in knowledge and let it flow through us, becoming part of who we are.

But when Water is imbalanced, we either hoard information without using it (hands up if this sounds familiar!), or it flows straight through us without leaving a trace.

The learning happened, but the integration is missing in action!

I love learning (and sharing what I learn – you might have noticed! 🙈), but I’ve fallen into this trap more times than I care to admit.

Earlier this year, I did some brilliant training that I’ve yet to fully integrate into my working manual.

I remember the content, I know how to use it with clients (and I have done so) but it doesn’t feel as embedded as I’d like because I didn’t carve out the time to properly absorb it, so it leaves me feeling unprepared – even if the client is none the wiser of my internal ‘scrambling’.

This week (last week now!) provided me with a perfect reminder of this very issue.

I’ve spent three days shadowing another instructor to get re-validated to deliver training courses.  These are courses I’ve taught many times myself already.

But I was back sitting on the student side of the desk… and that surprisingly changed everything!

I noticed things I that just fly past me when I’m teaching (hopefully due to my focus being on the delivery and making sure the student ‘gets it’).  The same material, totally different perspective – and naturally with different examples and analogies. It reinforced something important: learning isn’t just about acquiring information.

It’s about integration.

How to Actually Embed What You Learn

So coming back to the environment.  If we can’t change our environment, what can we do? Especially as it is unlikely that we would be able to rearrange our entire life to accommodate this new learning.

Anchor it to something you already do.

Don’t try to create a whole new routine. 
Instead, attach the new practice to an existing habit. 

• Making your morning coffee?  That’s your new trigger for your breathing exercise.
• Brushing your teeth?  Perfect time to say that new affirmation (you can do this with any growth work I give you as part of a session too!).

Start embarrassingly small.

Forget the grand plans. 

• If you set yourself the ‘challenge’ of a daily 20-minute meditation routine, commit to just 2 minutes.
• If the book suggested journaling three pages, start with three sentences.

You can always build up, but if you start too big, you’ll likely not do any of it!.

Schedule integration time immediately.

Before you even leave the course or close the book, put time in your diary – within 48 hours – to review and implement what you’ve learned.(This is a must-do for me with my book club books – I listen while I drive, full of the good intentions to make notes as soon as I get to my destination, yet rarely do I follow through – so into the diary it will now go!)

Get really specific, avoiding the “sometime next week” vagueness.

This week, set a specific day and a specific time.

Create a visual cue.

• Stick a Post-it note somewhere you’ll see it. 
• Change your phone wallpaper. 
• Put that book on your pillow (or in the bathroom beside the loo or the bath, depending on your preferences 😉). 

Your environment might not have changed, but you can plant little reminders everywhere.

Teach it to someone else.

Nothing embeds learning like explaining it to another person.
You don’t need to give a formal lecture – just share one insight with a friend over coffee, or explain a concept to your partner over dinner.

Build in accountability.

Tell someone what you’re committing to, or schedule a follow-up session with yourself in your calendar.

Even better, find a learning buddy who’s committed to the same change (this is a favourite of mine).

Accept imperfection from the start.

You won’t do it perfectly.  You’ll forget some days.  That’s OK.

The goal isn’t perfection – it’s progress.

Each time you return to the practice, you’re strengthening that neural pathway.
 

Your Challenge This Week

Think about something you’ve learned recently – from a course, a book, a conversation, wherever.
What’s one tiny aspect of it you could integrate this week?

Not the whole thing.  Just one small, manageable piece.

And if you’re sitting on learning you know would benefit you but you’re struggling to implement it?  That’s exactly the kind of pattern we can work through together.

Sometimes we need support to bridge the gap between knowing and doing.

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That training I mentioned from earlier this year?  I’ve booked an appointment with myself to start to integrate the tools into my manual (starting with Tuesday at 10 am – feel free to check up on me!). 

Would you like to join me in committing to actually using what we’ve learned?