Fist published 2 November 2023

This week started with people of my generation waking up on Sunday to find that a cast member of a popular TV show from our teenage/early adult years had died.

So much has already been said on the matter and I am not going to go into details here, I will however share a few ponderings and discussions I have had this week that have made me think.

Other than the shock, and in some cases with a few slightly older friends commenting ‘but he was my age’ it created ponderings around our own mortality and what legacy we want to be remembered for.  I’ll come back to that after the usual image below…

What made me take pause was the huge amount of people posting on social media almost immediately after they heard the news.  With a lot of celebrities also posting to share their messages of sadness, support and/or speculation.  Interestingly though (as a friend told me later as I hadn’t been following the news) was that there seemed to be shock and outrage that the fellow cast members from that TV show hadn’t immediately made a comment and that it was almost 2 days after the death that a statement was made.

I wonder why it is that we expect people to immediately take to social media?  Are the public really entitled to immediate commentary?  Can people no longer grieve in peace, quiet reflection or in private?  Does everything have to be lived on the world stage? 

This isn’t a rant or a complaint, rather a curiosity as to what is expected in the current world of social media and easy access to celebrity.

I think if a friend and co-worker who was a big part of my life was to suddenly no longer be with us, it would take me a little time to gather my thoughts and process what’s going on – and I may also be spending time reaching out to their family and loved ones or to my fellow co-workers to reconnect and hopefully offer mutual support before having to get media ready or to put out a public statement…  

So, back to that bit about how we want to remembered…

Many of us are unlikely to want to be remembered for the size of our bank accounts or how many cars we owned.  We are more likely to want to be remembered for the difference we made in the world or the difference we made to just the people we surrounded ourselves with; for the people we loved; the laughs we shared; and the experiences we enjoyed together – and maybe even the odd dodgy photo on Facebook (I will forever be grateful that social media wasn’t a thing in my teenage years!).

It’s so easy however to get caught up in the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of the rat race and forget what is really important to us.  

The next time you get stressed or overwhelmed, if you are able to, I invite you to take a step back and ask yourself “How do I want to be remembered?”

Do you want to be remembered as the person who always worked late and never had time for friends and family?  As the person whose home was always show home ready and not lived in? Or would you rather be remembered for putting your loved ones first and for the experiences or memories you made together?

Do you want to be remembered for being a stress monster or as a grumpy pants?  Or, as the person who spent more time smiling laughing and joking?

The choice as always, is yours.

and remember that much repeated quote – No one on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spend more time on my business/at work.’

If you can – take time each day to think about the legacy you are leaving by your words and actions – and don’t forget to tell the people that mean the world to you that you care – tell them often!

Thanks for still being here and reading my ramblings, it does mean a lot to me and as always, you know where I am for a natter, a session or even just to check if you are still in balance between sessions!  Hugs!