Inner Pathways

First Published 4 April 2024

Here’s What to Do When Sleep Eludes You

We’ve all been there – staring at the ceiling, counting sheep (or glow-in-the-dark stars) long after bedtime. Mind you – that counting sheep thing never did make sense to me…

Sleep, the cheeky so and so, just refuses to come, and frustration mounts. Dr. Julie Smith, author of the acclaimed book “Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?” and my book club book of the month, emphasises the crucial role sleep plays in our mental and physical well-being.

When sleep is playing hide and seek, a negative cycle can begin – low mood, anxiety, and stress can all be a result of low quantity or quality sleep, and likewise poor sleep can be caused by stress and anxiety too.

So, what can you do when sleep seems like a distant dream?

Here are some tips, with a subtle shift towards calming your mind rather than forcing sleep:

• Focus on Relaxation, Not Sleep: Instead of lying in the frustration (stronger wording is available) of not falling asleep, shift your focus. Focus on breathing and relaxation instead – deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation can be simple yet effective ways to relax and put your focus elsewhere.  Moving your focus to your breath, feeling your chest rise and fall with each inhale and exhale will take your mind off worries and help to create a sense of calm.  A tip I picked up from the book was to aim to breathe out for longer than you breathe in, as this helps trick the body in to a more relaxed state – practice it whenever you remember so that when you need it, it’s so much easier to do.
• Tame the Mental Chatter: A racing mind is a sleep saboteur. Keep a pen and paper by your bedside. If worries or anxieties pop into your head, write them down. This simple act of externalising your thoughts can clear your mind and prevent them from spiralling.  The trick to writing it down is in giving yourself permission to ‘forget’ or empty it out of your head.  You don’t have to focus on ruminating or remembering the worry, as you can pick it back up in the morning if you need to.
• Embrace the Power of “Allowing”: Letting go of the need to control sleep can be surprisingly helpful. Instead of desperately trying to fall asleep, allow yourself some quiet relaxation time in bed. Read a calming book* (avoid screens!), listen to soothing music, or practice gentle stretches.  * emphasis on calming, avoid any book that will keep your attention so much that you can’t put it down!!! (speaking from far too much experience here)

Remember, good sleep habits are key to overall well-being. By prioritising relaxation techniques and establishing a regular sleep schedule, you can create an environment conducive to quality sleep. For more in-depth information and guidance, Dr. Julie Smith’s book “Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?” offers a wealth of practical advice on sleep hygiene and overall mental health.

And if you want something more bespoke and tailored to you right now – reach out for some kinesiology and we can work out your own personalised sleep prescription.

Sweet dreams!