First published 12 December 2024

It’s been an interesting few weeks.  I sat in on a Mental Health First Aid course to see what changes there have been since I last did it to get up to speed to start delivering it.  I’ve had many conversations with clients and fellow coaches/therapists about the effects of suicidal thoughts and grief, and just tonight I was sitting in an a Mental Health awareness course for my volunteer role with the Sea Cadets (I can see me getting talked in to delivering the training for them too!)

And so, with all this in my mind, and with the shorter days, the stupidly cold weather, the run up to Christmas, etc etc – I just want to ask, are you OK? 

Have you Checked In with Yourself?

How do you know if you are not quite right?  Start by noticing:

• Changes in your sleep: loads more or less than your normal
• Changes in your appetite: again loads less or more (and I am not talking a few extra choccies since all the Christmas chocolate is doing the rounds!)
• Loss of interest: a severe case of the can’t be bothereds – especially with things you typically love to do
• Being easily irritated: are you snapping at people or yourself more than usual?
• Feeling down in the dumps: are you feeling scunnered? (sad, down or hopeless – you know, royally fed up…!)
• Knackered with little to no energy: no matter how much rest you still feel tired?
• Difficulty concentrating: focusing or making decisions feel like a thing of the past

Physical symptoms: headaches, tummy aches, other stuff that is not your ‘normal’

Have you Checked in with Others?

It’s just as important to check in with your friends, family, workmates etc.  A lot of the time, people may appear to struggle in silence.  So, look out for any of the following:

• Withdrawing: are they keeping themselves to themselves more than usual?
• Changes in behaviour: have you noticed a big change in their mood or how they are behaving?
• Lack of enthusiasm: are they also having a case of the can’t be bothereds with things that usually they love?
• Expressing Negative Thoughts: are they more negative/hopeless than usual?

Remember they may just be having a bad day, so do take the time to listen to what they are saying (or not saying!).

If you notice anything amiss with other people, offer to listen to what’s going on for them.  If they are not in the frame of mind to share, or you are concerned, then please do signpost them to services in your area.  SAMH (Scotland) and Elament (Lanarkshire) may be good places to start, I am still booking sessions and if I don’t have availability I have a good selection of other coaches and therapists that I can refer you/them to.

It’s OK to not be OK (But it’s not OK to stay there!)

We all have tough times.  So you or your friends are not alone.  It is important to get help or support if you are struggling though.  No one has to go through it alone.  It might be that a smile, a hello text or meme or a conversation may be all it takes to pull through a tough spot.  If it doesn’t, do reach out to someone you trust.

And as you know I love some top tips – if you or your friend aren’t feeling OK, the following may help:

• Fresh Air: yes I know it is bl**dy cold, so do wrap up for this one, but get outside and go for a short walk, it can do wonders
• Have a Natter: spend time with someone you want to spend time with! Have a blether on the phone, or meet up for a coffee (other beverages are available) 
• Do something you enjoy: what makes you happy? Do that! Whether it’s reading, listening to music, dancing around the living room, doing a hobby, or something else – take a moment to remember what lights you up normally and do that.
• Experiment with Mindfulness: take a few minutes and be present.  There are loads of tutorials or tips online.  I know I promised my book would be ready by now – watch this space, it is nearly there (and now that I have said it again, I am going to have to finish it right?)
• Call me: come book a zoffee or a more formal session – which ever you are ready for.

If you are worried about yourself or someone else, please do reach out for support.  There are so many resources available now – and if you really don’t know where to start, my zoffees do not come with a price tag, I am happy to point you in the right direction for self help, and to throw in the odd tip here and there too.  If you can’t find a time that works for you on the link, drop me a line and I’ll see if I can open up some other time slots.

You are not alone.  It’s OK to ask for help or support.