First published 16 January 2025

This month on Therapists in Conversation we are discussing all things Forgiveness – tune in now and see if you agree with us or have some different thoughts – I’d love to hear your opinions…

Meanwhile I am going to meander around the art of forgiving self below the picture! 👇

Start with You!

Forgiveness. It’s a word we often associate with letting go of anger or resentment towards others.

But how often do we think of forgiving ourselves?

This can sometimes be the the hardest part, or regularly overlooked aspect.

We hold onto our own mistakes, replaying them in our minds (over and over and over!), letting them define us. 

It is important to remember that true forgiveness, the kind that truly sets us free, must begin within.

Why Forgive Yourself?

Holding onto self-blame is like carrying a heavy weight.

It drains our energy, impacts our self-esteem, and prevents us from moving forward.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, releases us from this burden, allowing us to acknowledge our mistakes, learn from them, and move on with a lighter heart.

The Process of Self-Forgiveness:

Forgiving yourself isn’t about excusing your actions or pretending they didn’t happen. It’s about:

• Acknowledging what happened: Be honest with yourself about what you did or didn’t do.
• Taking responsibility: Own your part in the situation, without self-flagellation.
• Learning from the experience: What can you take away from this? How can you do things differently in the future?
• Practising self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.
• Letting go of the past: Accept that you can’t change what happened, but you can choose how it affects you going forward.

And on that last point, sometimes just the act of acknowledging that you can’t change the past is the key to silencing that voice in our minds that play on a really unhelpful, annoying repeat loop over and over…

Extending Forgiveness to Others:

Once we’ve learned to forgive ourselves, extending that forgiveness to others becomes easier.  We understand the human capacity for error and the importance of letting go.

A Path to Healing:

Forgiveness, whether directed at ourselves or others, is a powerful act of healing. It’s a choice to release ourselves from the grip of the past and embrace a more peaceful future.

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Please do share your thoughts on self forgiveness and/or the latest TIC episode.