First published 11 January 2024

Taking the time for Self-Care

The latest episode of Therapists in Conversation was released on Friday last week, this time talking about taking time for self-care.

A lot of us are still stuck in that loop between believing self care is essential but that taking the time for it is selfish!

Do tune in and see if you agree with what we are chatting about – if there are any lightbulb moments or golden nuggets I’d love to hear your thoughts.  If there is anything you don’t agree with or that rubs you the wrong way, please also let me know – it’s always good to hear a different perspective.

I’ve collected a few frequently asked questions about self-care and provided my thoughts below:

What is self-care?

In a nutshell, self-care is investing in your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.  It can include activities that nourish and fuel your whole self that then helps you to manage stress, keep your energy levels up and live a more fulfilling life – basically, it helps you to deal with what ever life throws at you!

Why should I care about self-care?

You have probably heard me using the car analogy before – we take the time to get our car serviced (that reminds me, I need to book mine in!) but we don’t always allow ourselves the same consideration.  
The benefits are far reaching and include but are not limited to:

• Reduced stress & anxiety – taking time to unwind helps manage cortisol levels (the stress hormone)
• Increased energy & productivity – making sure we have enough sleep, eat the right foods (for us) and move our bodies – this all helps boost our energy levels leading to improved productivity
• Stronger resilience – cultivating healthier coping mechanisms and listening to our emotional needs can only help build resilience and encourage us to bounce back quicker from any bumps in the road.
• Better relationships – when we feel good about ourselves, we have more capacity emotionally to connect with others and build healthier fulfilling relationships
• Enhanced self-awareness – reflection and mindfulness are encouraged in many self-care practices – this helps us to better understand our own needs enabling us to navigate our lives consciously.

How long do I NEED to spend on it?

‘NEED’ is perhaps not the best way to look at self-care – it makes it feel like we are forcing ourselves to do something! 
It’s perhaps better to focus and aim for consistency rather than big chunks of time.  5-10 minutes can make a huge difference if we make it a habit.  In fact I am sure I talked about a 1 minute breathing meditation exercise a few weeks ago!  It could also be as simple as setting yourself a regular bedtime and getting good quality sleep – so unless you don’t currently sleep, it’s not dedicating hours to some new practice you HAVE to do.

If self-care as a concept is new to you, aim to spend a minute or 2 a couple of times a day just focusing on your breathing – or have a quick walk to the end of the drive or street.  Once it becomes a habit, look for ways to increase it that work for you – and that you feel enjoyment and benefit from.  No one can dictate to you how long you NEED to spend on self-care, only when you tune in and listen to yourself will you learn how much time is optimal for you.  (There is always the option to find a friendly kinesiologist to muscle response test and ask your system directly 😉)

Are there any real tangible benefits to self-care?

Yes… oh – you want to know what they are? 😉

• Improved physical health – regular exercise (remember this doesn’t have to be hours in the gym – but it can be!), healthy (for you) eating, and stress management can boost your immune system, lower blood pressure and reduce risks of chronic diseases.
• Enhanced mental clarity – making sure you get the right amount of quality sleep, taking time for relaxation and mindfulness can sharpen your focus, open yourself up to more creative solutions and creativity in general, it can also improve your memory
• Stronger emotional resilience – taking time for yourself helps to manage negative emotions, promotes positive self-talk which builds self-confidence, all leading to better emotional well-being
• Increased personal satisfaction – simply put – when we prioritise ourselves, and nurture our well-being, we build more fulfilling, satisfying lives.

Can you give me some suggestions for self-care for things I can do that don’t take ages or cost a fortune?

Yay – I get to compile a new list 😊

• Mindfulness – take a minute, 5 minutes or an hour!  Do some breathing exercises, meditation or connect with nature – this could be a walk, or sitting on a park bench watching the world go by (if you are in Scotland, please do wrap up warm – hypothermia is not your friend!)
• Move – this could be as simple as standing up and shaking/stretching your body, or a little more involved – go for a brisk walk, do some yoga/Pilates/tai chi, or dance around your living room!
• Connect – contact a loved one (or a liked one!), have a laugh with a friend, call a family member of have a meaningful conversation
• Express yourself – if it works for you, get creative – paint, draw, doodle, sing or even write/record a journal entry – these are good ways to let your emotions out safely
• Detox – no I don’t mean give up your favourite food or drink – I am going for the digital here!  Simply take a break from social media and the news – maybe switch your notifications off for between 30 mins and an hour – just that small break can reduce stress and give you greater clarity
• Gratitude – Find small things that you are grateful for and write them down – simply notice what is around you (I am grateful for the squirrel staring at me through the window right now…).  As it’s the start of the year, you could grab an empty jar and on a regular basis, write something you are grateful for on a slip of paper or a post it note and put it in the jar.  Then when you are feeling low you can dip in, or save them up to read over at the end of the year!
• Engage in a hobby – now, you didn’t think I would finish without including reading did you?  Here it is… read a book 😊, listen to music, learn something new, do something that is purely for fun – something that makes you giggle or lights you up inside.  Whatever it is, make sure it is something for you and not something to keep someone else happy – you can do that too – but this is self-care we are talking about – so pick something that is for you!

Do reach out if you are struggling to find the time for yourself or you find it difficult to quieten your mind enough to work out what would be good self-care for you – together we can come up with some ideas that work for you.

And as always, my calendar is open for sessions, so what are you waiting for?  Book in before the prices go up to lock in the current price.

Finally, remember that self-care is a journey, not a destination so don’t forget to take in the scenery along the way – detours can be fun too!  What I mean by that is experiment, find what works for you and most importantly – be kind to yourself!